Funny how you thought that you're the only one that has been thinking further, thinking about your future studies, work & life. but when you finally had that
It's always important to discuss & talk about things that you doubt the most with the important ones especially with your best girlies. Without them, I honestly wouldn't know what's my next step. God, they've been with me throughout my primary & also secondary years. They knew me more than all of my schoolmates do. They knew about me, basically mostly about everything. But we do have these times when we would forget each other's birthdays, oh come on who wouldn't?
It isn't about D'
"People change" nevers matter in this case & will never affect anything in friendship. Serious talk. The key is to understand each other, the fact that each of us are in different schools, some of ém are in normal daily schools, some of ém are in premiere schools, and some of them are also in boarding schools. We don't stop them from being someone better, but we support them. We don't assume their changes, we call it being matured.
One of the reasons why I didn't want to attend boarding schools is because I don't want to leave my friends. especially when it comes to them. But do you know what I felt now? To be really honest, I'm so grateful that I'm not in the same school with them. Because I knew, if I'm always together with them, I'd bump into so many stupid fights, we wouldn't have late night skype calls to actually tell haunted & terrifying stories about boarding schools, stupid crushes from other schools & such. We wouldn't felt like knowing how's everyone's day because wére in the same school. But hey, Its the bright side that I can see now. & if they'd ever enter the same school as I'm in, I knew they'd never be friends with me anymore.
All of us went through a hella lot of countless radical experiences but different types, styles & places surrounded by different people. But that made us strong knowing that there's some other people out there that matters the most.
Every time if I had a hard time on studying [ because everyone in the school are way smarter & v v intelligent compared to me] -so I end up crying & giving up- and every time if the days aren't as bright as they used to be, I'd go sit alone & thought of something better, & I knew other people faced much miseries but they wouldn't have anyone to count on. But I do. So why bother?
Why bother not being someone who's admired by everyone, why bother not being good enough when you knew you're good for your own, why bother not being perfect when you knew no one would.
I would always tell my schoolmates how I miss my friends at home, & how they're the ones who I can count on even though we would definitely have small stupid fights and argue on small things but who cares, we cherish that all along, where else would I laugh into tears all day if I'm not with them?
They're the place where I would ask for decision regarding on a very serious stuff, and to move on & definitely not to move backwards. The first two years of boarding schools when I kept on crying when I came back home because I hated the school so much and I cant even see the good side of it. They were never tired of trying to calm myself.
I literally told myself, it was a huge sacrifice on going to different schools and meeting different people & trying to keep the friendship going. trust me, it depends on yourself. If you still want it, then stay with it. But if you can't trust yourself, move on and find others.
As for me, its a bless knowing each one of my friends. Alhamdulillah. InsyaÁllah, kawan dunia akhirat. Kawan sampai ke syurga. Dari hati ke jiwa, dari lurus jadi gila. Pengorbanan untuk perkara kecil, lama lama memberi satu rezeki yang besar.
[bila kau rasa semua orang membenci kau kerana perbuatan kau terhadap mereka, bila kau rasa kau tak mampu nak hadapi satu per satu seorangan, kau kena ingat. Allah swt sentiasa bersama kau. dan kau kena tahu, kau terlalu memikir mendalam sampai terlupa untuk meminta maaf. ]